


Empty

by mayawrites95 (mayarox95)



Series: Wish Upon A Star [147]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-30
Updated: 2015-05-30
Packaged: 2018-05-30 11:20:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6421888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mayarox95/pseuds/mayawrites95
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Emma lets the darkness consume her</p>
            </blockquote>





	Empty

She never really leaves the darkness once it swallows her up. She’s not all that sure where she is, if she were being honest; maybe still somewhere in Storybrooke, or maybe she’s back in the Enchanted Forest. But when she really thought about it, it felt more like she was in between the realms.

It wasn’t as if she had all that much else to do anyways but think out all of these things.

She’s not really rooted to the spot. She can wander around the ever surrounding expanse around her, and she does so to help kill the time that seems to have stopped still since her entry into the new life.

It’s a constant battle inside of her. She can feel the darkness attempting to overtake all the good inside of her and corrupt her from the inside out. But she refuses to let that happen. For every dark thought that crosses her mind, she combats it with a happy one; her parents, her brother, her son, **_Killian._**

She knows she’s not bound to the vast nothingness. She could leave any time she wanted, and go anywhere. With all the magic inside of her, she knows that nowhere is off limits; something which previously bound Rumple is now one of her strengths. She’s not stupid; the dagger still works on her just as it had all the prior Dark Ones.

But she doesn’t go anywhere. She can’t face her family; she’s not stable enough to ensure she wouldn’t hurt them if she wasn’t careful and the darkness got the best of her. There were so many things she hated her parents for when growing up, that she’s not all that sure one of those thoughts might accidently slip out if she doesn’t try hard enough.

It doesn’t help that there’s a dark voice inside of her saying that her family, the epitome of light and hope would want nothing to do with her. Even Killian who fell for the person she had been would want to stay as far away from her as possible. He had, after all, spent over three centuries trying to find a way to kill the last Dark One.

The logical, light, part of her, told her that it wasn’t true. That all of them would understand and still care about he regardless; that they were doing everything in their power to get her back.

But the last time she was gone from her life, her parents moved on and had another child; one they didn’t need to worry about holding the burden of ‘The Saviour’ and one who they could properly raise this time. Henry still had his other mother and Robin. He would have a good life despite her not being there; he had managed for the first ten years when his mother was ‘evil’ and now she was a hero, it would basically be smooth sailing. And Killian, well he eventually moved on from one love of his life, she wouldn’t be all that different right? She wasn’t exactly as amazing as Milah had been so it wouldn’t be all that bad. It would sting for a few days, but she knew that with the help of her family, he would be just fine.

They all would be.

It stung to think about, and half the time her rebuttals seemed weak. But it didn’t bring out a darkness in her; instead, it nearly shut her down.

It was because of pain like this she had put of walls so high in the first place. It might have kept out all the love from her life, but it also prevented her from getting hurt too. And her mother, while in her cursed state, had tried to get her to open up. Sure didn’t seem like it was worth it at the moment.

She could hear her name, like whispers, from people she knew on the other side. It wasn’t an official summons, so she wasn’t forced to go, but she would be able to pick up everything that was said about her if she honed in on it.

She would hear her mother crying and her father attempting to comfort her. She would hear their plans to find Merlin and try and save her. She would hear her son talk without a shred of doubt in his voice about getting her back.

But the worst of it was hearing Killian. He would whisper her name into the dead of the night while in bed on his ship, with a pain which broke her heart. She would hear him talk about how much he missed her to the emptiness, and about how regretful he was that he let her slip away. She would hear him promise that he’ll find her no matter what. And she would hear him murmur every night that he loved her, his voice breaking as he uttered the words.

His words always hurt her the most. She had known he loved her; she always had. There had never been a doubt in her mind to that fact. But it was unfair for the first time to hear her say those words had been when she couldn’t be around to say them back. Just as the conditions in which she had told him the same.

There were days when she wanted to visit him; to be held by Killian as he promised her things would be okay. She wanted nothing more than to feel his lips on hers and his arms around her waist as she cuddled into his warm chest. She needed him.

But she also needed him to be safe. And for that reason, she kept her distance.

She knew they were all working as hard as they could to find a way to free her of the darkness; to find a way to vanquish it once and for all. But she wasn’t all that sure that there would be anyone left to save if she caved and let the darkness win.

 


End file.
